A few signatures
I went back to the house later that afternoon after I had been at Mom & Bruce's for an hour or so. I walked in and without hesitation, I looked at Larkin and said "I'm getting a lawyer". He asked for me to watch the boys while he went out for awhile. When he returned, I remember folding laundry in the den and he approached me and asked if there was anything, anything at all that could be done to give our marriage another shot.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was so apologetic for his actions and begged for another chance. I said no.
I left the house again to go pick up Miller from his Sunday night church activities. On the way there, I called Courtney. I had text her during the football game the day before and mentioned that I thought Larkin was with Reagan. We had sent a few texts back and forth that Sunday. When we talked, I told her my intentions and she fully understood. We cried together and tried to make sense of it all. Courtney and Larkin were so, so close and she felt abandoned like me. I don't think she'd mind me being honest about that. We talked about this new version of Larkin and how it was so far from the Larkin that we knew. It was like a death. Only worse. You are forced to mourn the loss of someone who still exists in your life - trying to figure out this new version of a person and being forced to interact in this foreign way.
The following morning, we did our usual routine. I arrived at work and immediately e-mailed a local attorney. By that afternoon, I found myself sitting in his office. It was surreal. I explained the events that had taken place over the past 9 or 10 months. I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. Turns out, it's not too difficult to get a divorce. I won't go into the details too much, but it's as simple as completing a few forms and paying $975.
A few days after submitting the paperwork, there it was. Popping into my e-mail inbox like all of the other e-mails I received that day. I opened the attachment.
Melissa Lowery Deason (plaintiff) vs. Larkin Corey Deason (defendant)
Sadness, sickness, sweaty palms - I had felt this feeling all too often lately. There I was, staring at a document that would end the life path that I thought I would be on until my dying day. The thing is though, I knew that there was no other option. There was minimal back and forth between the two of us regarding the settlement. The back and forth that did exist was strictly about the boys. I was advised by my attorney that I wouldn't be able to get more than 50% custody of my boys (by a judge) unless I could prove a reason for that. And I'm sad to say that with the details that I knew about Larkin and Reagan's affair - they meant absolutely nothing in terms of custody. I asked for an alternative version of 50/50, different from this 7 on, 7 off schedule that was recommended. But that was not in the cards. So not only was I ending my marriage, I was giving up 1/2 of my kids lives because of the actions of others. I'm still not over that and I never will be.
You know when you first have kids and everyone tells you - "soak up all of the moments, they are fleeting". Well, my fleeting moments with my children just got cut in half.
I'm sure I've mentioned before that David's advice to me in one of our first visits with him was for me to be able to look back with no regrets. I can do that now. I don't think that there is one single action that I would have changed on my part for the past year. I certainly will not act innocent for riffs or any other moments of weakness in our marriage. We've all been through ups and downs in marriage, but after living my life for the past year, those "down" events were much more impactful in the long run than I ever imagined that they would be.
On November 6th we signed. I was notified by the attorney's office that Larkin had been by that day. I excused myself from work for a few minutes and made the drive to the office to finalize my signatures. Surprisingly, I held it together pretty well. I drove up in the parking lot, and there was my mama. Always, always, always there for me. She told me to walk in with pride, knowing that I had fought as hard as I could. So that's what I did. I signed my name a few times and that was it. I walked out, hugged my mama, dried my tears and began a new chapter.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was so apologetic for his actions and begged for another chance. I said no.
I left the house again to go pick up Miller from his Sunday night church activities. On the way there, I called Courtney. I had text her during the football game the day before and mentioned that I thought Larkin was with Reagan. We had sent a few texts back and forth that Sunday. When we talked, I told her my intentions and she fully understood. We cried together and tried to make sense of it all. Courtney and Larkin were so, so close and she felt abandoned like me. I don't think she'd mind me being honest about that. We talked about this new version of Larkin and how it was so far from the Larkin that we knew. It was like a death. Only worse. You are forced to mourn the loss of someone who still exists in your life - trying to figure out this new version of a person and being forced to interact in this foreign way.
The following morning, we did our usual routine. I arrived at work and immediately e-mailed a local attorney. By that afternoon, I found myself sitting in his office. It was surreal. I explained the events that had taken place over the past 9 or 10 months. I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. Turns out, it's not too difficult to get a divorce. I won't go into the details too much, but it's as simple as completing a few forms and paying $975.
A few days after submitting the paperwork, there it was. Popping into my e-mail inbox like all of the other e-mails I received that day. I opened the attachment.
Melissa Lowery Deason (plaintiff) vs. Larkin Corey Deason (defendant)
Sadness, sickness, sweaty palms - I had felt this feeling all too often lately. There I was, staring at a document that would end the life path that I thought I would be on until my dying day. The thing is though, I knew that there was no other option. There was minimal back and forth between the two of us regarding the settlement. The back and forth that did exist was strictly about the boys. I was advised by my attorney that I wouldn't be able to get more than 50% custody of my boys (by a judge) unless I could prove a reason for that. And I'm sad to say that with the details that I knew about Larkin and Reagan's affair - they meant absolutely nothing in terms of custody. I asked for an alternative version of 50/50, different from this 7 on, 7 off schedule that was recommended. But that was not in the cards. So not only was I ending my marriage, I was giving up 1/2 of my kids lives because of the actions of others. I'm still not over that and I never will be.
You know when you first have kids and everyone tells you - "soak up all of the moments, they are fleeting". Well, my fleeting moments with my children just got cut in half.
I'm sure I've mentioned before that David's advice to me in one of our first visits with him was for me to be able to look back with no regrets. I can do that now. I don't think that there is one single action that I would have changed on my part for the past year. I certainly will not act innocent for riffs or any other moments of weakness in our marriage. We've all been through ups and downs in marriage, but after living my life for the past year, those "down" events were much more impactful in the long run than I ever imagined that they would be.
On November 6th we signed. I was notified by the attorney's office that Larkin had been by that day. I excused myself from work for a few minutes and made the drive to the office to finalize my signatures. Surprisingly, I held it together pretty well. I drove up in the parking lot, and there was my mama. Always, always, always there for me. She told me to walk in with pride, knowing that I had fought as hard as I could. So that's what I did. I signed my name a few times and that was it. I walked out, hugged my mama, dried my tears and began a new chapter.
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