Dumber and Dumber
When I left the house that night, I called Larkin's sister Courtney. She knew a lot of the details about what was going on, and initially during our issues, Larkin had confided a lot in her. She took a trip up to visit us several months earlier and had become a great support system for me. The thing about Courtney is, she's honest. When you have a conversation with her, you never wonder what she's really thinking, she will lay it all out there for you - which is a wonderful quality. Because she knew the details of our troubles, she had been an open book with Larkin. She told him how crazy his actions were and reminded him of what the outcome would be if he didn't change his ways. So, I called her that night because she knew, at this point, more than anyone. And I was still trying to go by David's advice of being cautious about who I shared details with.
I drove and drove while talking to Courtney. We cried together. She was just as shocked as I was. The whole thing was just unbelievable to both of us.
I pulled back in the driveway later on that night. When I walked in the house, Larkin could tell by the look on my face that something was wrong. When he asked what was going on, I responded by saying something like "I'm so sorry that our reunion was interfering with your weekend rendezvous with your girlfriend". He acted like he didn't know what I was talking about (yes, you read that right). I responded by saying, "I know what you were planning to do on Saturday". Still - nothing from him but a blank stare. I couldn't believe that he would deny this and turn it around on me like I was some kind of crazy person. Then I said, "Would you like for me to read to you what I saw on your phone?". "Yes", he said. STILL playing dumb. I had taken photos of the text thread on his phone when I discovered the plan. Here's exactly what it said...
Between Larkin and Jeff:
L: Any feedback from Reagan?
J: Yes, She is down for whatever.
L: Umm
J: Slow down, champ.
L: She in Bham all day?
L: Ha!
J: That was the original plan. She is there until we leave.
L: Ok. That's good. Was she glad I reached out. These things can be tricky.
.....Missing text between photos....
L: Ok. What all was said? How do you come to this conclusion? How long did you talk?
J: Just chat. Not all that much was said, but she ADORES you. Sincerely and Completely. And not in a crazy, obsessed way either. It's a "I've seen and known others. I now know a truly good man," thing.
L: Dang!! The jacked up part is that I understand that!! Feel dumber and dumber for ever climbing into any other situation.
J: She was not the same person then. Not completely...
I won't go any further, because it would impede on Jeff's personal life.
Larkin just stared at me while I lit into him. "Seriously," I said. "You're a grown man and now you're using a wing man to set up a meeting with your girlfriend." Larkin continued to just stand there. What could he say, really. I couldn't believe that he had the nerve to do this, act like he didn't know what I was talking about when he brought it up, and just stand there and stare. He asked me what I wanted him to do. I told him to call Jeff and cancel the plans. He did that. He called Jeff in front of me and told him that I had found out about their plans and that he wouldn't be going to Birmingham.
As I type this, I am still in disbelief. There was a stranger in front of me. I had done EVERYTHING I could to be supportive, and now this. I swear, I wanted to beat him. The fact that he told someone that he "felt dumber and dumber for climbing into any other situation" left me to believe my entire marriage was a lie.
The next morning (which was a Friday), I took Miller to school, which was our normal routine. Larkin had taken Walker. I came home and went straight back to bed. I just couldn't do anything but lay there. I called in sick to work.
I went to the next appointment with David that following Tuesday. I asked Larkin to let me go by myself. I recapped the events with David. He was just as shocked and angry. He offered support, but told me that I needed to stop trying to prevent the affair. It was like adding fuel to a fire, he basically said. He explained to me that if Larkin wanted to continue this relationship with Reagan, there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it.
I'm sure that if you are reading this, you're wondering why in the hell I would still be trying. I don't know the answer to that. Earlier on, before discovering Larkin's relationship with Reagan, I would have told anyone and everyone that if Larkin ever cheated, I'd be out the door in a heartbeat. I've always been one to say that if "so and so" happened to me, "I'd do X." The thing is, you don't know. Since all this has happened, I've made a conscious effort to stop doing that. Because we don't know. There's no way to know how you would react in a particular situation until you are living in that situation. My motivation through this entire ordeal was my boys. I was in it for them. Still, after all of this.
I drove and drove while talking to Courtney. We cried together. She was just as shocked as I was. The whole thing was just unbelievable to both of us.
I pulled back in the driveway later on that night. When I walked in the house, Larkin could tell by the look on my face that something was wrong. When he asked what was going on, I responded by saying something like "I'm so sorry that our reunion was interfering with your weekend rendezvous with your girlfriend". He acted like he didn't know what I was talking about (yes, you read that right). I responded by saying, "I know what you were planning to do on Saturday". Still - nothing from him but a blank stare. I couldn't believe that he would deny this and turn it around on me like I was some kind of crazy person. Then I said, "Would you like for me to read to you what I saw on your phone?". "Yes", he said. STILL playing dumb. I had taken photos of the text thread on his phone when I discovered the plan. Here's exactly what it said...
Between Larkin and Jeff:
L: Any feedback from Reagan?
J: Yes, She is down for whatever.
L: Umm
J: Slow down, champ.
L: She in Bham all day?
L: Ha!
J: That was the original plan. She is there until we leave.
L: Ok. That's good. Was she glad I reached out. These things can be tricky.
.....Missing text between photos....
L: Ok. What all was said? How do you come to this conclusion? How long did you talk?
J: Just chat. Not all that much was said, but she ADORES you. Sincerely and Completely. And not in a crazy, obsessed way either. It's a "I've seen and known others. I now know a truly good man," thing.
L: Dang!! The jacked up part is that I understand that!! Feel dumber and dumber for ever climbing into any other situation.
J: She was not the same person then. Not completely...
I won't go any further, because it would impede on Jeff's personal life.
Larkin just stared at me while I lit into him. "Seriously," I said. "You're a grown man and now you're using a wing man to set up a meeting with your girlfriend." Larkin continued to just stand there. What could he say, really. I couldn't believe that he had the nerve to do this, act like he didn't know what I was talking about when he brought it up, and just stand there and stare. He asked me what I wanted him to do. I told him to call Jeff and cancel the plans. He did that. He called Jeff in front of me and told him that I had found out about their plans and that he wouldn't be going to Birmingham.
As I type this, I am still in disbelief. There was a stranger in front of me. I had done EVERYTHING I could to be supportive, and now this. I swear, I wanted to beat him. The fact that he told someone that he "felt dumber and dumber for climbing into any other situation" left me to believe my entire marriage was a lie.
The next morning (which was a Friday), I took Miller to school, which was our normal routine. Larkin had taken Walker. I came home and went straight back to bed. I just couldn't do anything but lay there. I called in sick to work.
I went to the next appointment with David that following Tuesday. I asked Larkin to let me go by myself. I recapped the events with David. He was just as shocked and angry. He offered support, but told me that I needed to stop trying to prevent the affair. It was like adding fuel to a fire, he basically said. He explained to me that if Larkin wanted to continue this relationship with Reagan, there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it.
I'm sure that if you are reading this, you're wondering why in the hell I would still be trying. I don't know the answer to that. Earlier on, before discovering Larkin's relationship with Reagan, I would have told anyone and everyone that if Larkin ever cheated, I'd be out the door in a heartbeat. I've always been one to say that if "so and so" happened to me, "I'd do X." The thing is, you don't know. Since all this has happened, I've made a conscious effort to stop doing that. Because we don't know. There's no way to know how you would react in a particular situation until you are living in that situation. My motivation through this entire ordeal was my boys. I was in it for them. Still, after all of this.
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