No, No & No
What the hell. Miserable for the last 5 years?!?
I reminded Larkin of all the things that had happened within the last 5 years. Major things to include buying a new house just 6 months before, and hello - having a 2nd child. Who agrees to that if they are miserable?
I won't go in to any further details about that conversation, other than to say that I let Larkin know that I was sad (and pissed off) that he wouldn't have brought these issues up. He responded by letting me know that through my post-partum issues, and anxiety, which had become increasingly intense over a few years, had led him to do things to make me happy, pushing his own feelings aside. Leaving him without a "voice" in our marriage.
I'm the first to admit that I'm a pretty headstrong person. And I don't mind saying that I was totally spoiled as a child. I've talked to my parents about that and they always respond by saying, since Wade and I were such good kids, they tried to provide everything they could for us. (Honesty alert: which pretty much meant anything. Cars, jet skis, boats, 4 wheelers, swimming pool... you get it.) Not tooting my own horn (I'll just toot Wade's, lol), we were pretty good kids. So much of our childhood was shaped by losing our biological father when we were young children, to being blessed with the most wonderful step-father 6 years later. I was only two (almost 3) when dad passed, so I don't remember too much. But Wade was 6. What could be more terrible that losing a father at that age? But through the terrible, awful, a foundation was laid that I believe makes us unbelievably close. And my mom - geez. I can't even go there right now because I don't want to sit here and cry, but she is the definition of strength.
I didn't start this post thinking that I would get into all of that, but I think it's an important part of my life's story and made me who I am today.
So back to my assertiveness/head-strong personality/ability to persuade - whatever you want to call it. After Larkin's statement, I began to think back about how that has had an impact on our marriage. Yep, I can see it. Not gonna try to sugar coat, but let's be honest, there's a more decisive person in every relationship. For us, that was definitely me.
Larkin and I wrapped up that conversation by agreeing to see a marriage counselor. So we had our first session on Feb. 13th. Good timing, huh?
Introducing David, our counselor. I was a hot mess during our first appointment (honesty alert: I was/am a hot mess for all appointments). We sat down and David jumped right in. His first questions:
1. Do you want a divorce?
2. Is anyone cheating?
3. Are either of you gay?
No, no and no.
His response - "Well, this should be pretty easy!"
I reminded Larkin of all the things that had happened within the last 5 years. Major things to include buying a new house just 6 months before, and hello - having a 2nd child. Who agrees to that if they are miserable?
I won't go in to any further details about that conversation, other than to say that I let Larkin know that I was sad (and pissed off) that he wouldn't have brought these issues up. He responded by letting me know that through my post-partum issues, and anxiety, which had become increasingly intense over a few years, had led him to do things to make me happy, pushing his own feelings aside. Leaving him without a "voice" in our marriage.
I'm the first to admit that I'm a pretty headstrong person. And I don't mind saying that I was totally spoiled as a child. I've talked to my parents about that and they always respond by saying, since Wade and I were such good kids, they tried to provide everything they could for us. (Honesty alert: which pretty much meant anything. Cars, jet skis, boats, 4 wheelers, swimming pool... you get it.) Not tooting my own horn (I'll just toot Wade's, lol), we were pretty good kids. So much of our childhood was shaped by losing our biological father when we were young children, to being blessed with the most wonderful step-father 6 years later. I was only two (almost 3) when dad passed, so I don't remember too much. But Wade was 6. What could be more terrible that losing a father at that age? But through the terrible, awful, a foundation was laid that I believe makes us unbelievably close. And my mom - geez. I can't even go there right now because I don't want to sit here and cry, but she is the definition of strength.
I didn't start this post thinking that I would get into all of that, but I think it's an important part of my life's story and made me who I am today.
So back to my assertiveness/head-strong personality/ability to persuade - whatever you want to call it. After Larkin's statement, I began to think back about how that has had an impact on our marriage. Yep, I can see it. Not gonna try to sugar coat, but let's be honest, there's a more decisive person in every relationship. For us, that was definitely me.
Larkin and I wrapped up that conversation by agreeing to see a marriage counselor. So we had our first session on Feb. 13th. Good timing, huh?
Introducing David, our counselor. I was a hot mess during our first appointment (honesty alert: I was/am a hot mess for all appointments). We sat down and David jumped right in. His first questions:
1. Do you want a divorce?
2. Is anyone cheating?
3. Are either of you gay?
No, no and no.
His response - "Well, this should be pretty easy!"
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